[He jumps, right the stupid allergy. It's only now he remembers that he always pockets a small packet of tissues since Lovecraft live with them. He takes a brief moment to wipe his nose before speaking up.]
Right. The thing that I wanted to ask you before.
[It's not often he's nervous around Ryousuke, but with something new and foreign as this, it feels like he's 14 again and everything about the world seems intimidating.]
[Still cupping the tea, warm between his hands. Even someone like Ryousuke can only guess at what he might ask.]
Oh? [Looking back on the Sugane from before, slumped over a bar and lacking in direction, and superimposing the image of him now, nervous but brave enough to ask this of Ryo - maybe he's standing a little straighter.] You really did it.
[Honestly, he had been preparing himself for a rejection. Though then again, he reminds himself, Ryousuke had been the one reminding him to write again since he had found him in the bar.
Without wasting another minute, he goes back to the kitchen to grab the spiral notebook before running -no, fast walking, back to hand it to Ryousuke.]
There aren't many yet, and the writing isn't entirely polished. But I appreciate you taking the time to read them.
[Pushing his teacup out of the way, so he can receive the notebook. First he flicks through the pages, judging the length, and then thumbs back to open up to the beginning. He hums.]
Short stories, huh.
[Did Sugane expect him to read it later in his own time? Or now? Regardless, Ryousuke has no problems with perusing his work right in front of him.]
[Even if Sugane stares so expectantly, waiting, Ryousuke seems completely oblivious to it. He's already delving into the story, and doesn't bother looking back up. It's not like he was doing anything important beforehand, other than fight his own internal organs. At least this keeps his mind distracted from any leftover queasiness.
If anyone wanted to gauge his opinion via facial expression, good luck, because Ryousuke remains fairly neutral the entire time. Maybe his brow furrows ever so slightly, his eyelashes flicker, or his smile relaxes some, but otherwise it's his usual front. Calm, and giving little away.
Lovie's still a kitten and prone to restlessness. Without Ryousuke paying much attention to her, she hops off the couch to entertain her next curiosity - approaching Sugane's feet and gazing up with a meow.]
[Without having nothing else to do, he picks up Lovie into his arms. His allergies are going to be real death of him one day, he thinks idly as he stroke the kitten's fur.
There's only so much Sugane can read from a person, let alone someone who tends to be unreadable by default. Does Ryousuke like his stories? Interested? Think there's potential? It's really hard to tell.
Impatient and in need to take another allergy pill, he finally speaks up;]
I... guess I'm just to leave you read it by yourself and then come back another time?
[The way he looks at the notebook, it's almost as if he's reciting off a list of problems, revealing themselves between ruled lines.]
It's too straightforward. There's little flow. All the sentences are choppy, and when they're not, they're overly convoluted. Isn't this a little too purple?
Though really, it's not like it's much of a surprise. He's still very new at this and unlike Leader regarding his cooking, Ryousuke tells him right off bat which parts requires dire working.]
I see... but, nonetheless! I appreciate your criticism and will work hard in fixing these problems.
[Oh? There's no spluttering or protest or even blind shock. He really did accept it.
Ryousuke's passing the notebook back, and reaches for his tea. It's cold. As much as he doesn't like to leave a story unfinished, it seems incomplete as it is. There's a lot of reworking to be done.]
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Right. The thing that I wanted to ask you before.
[It's not often he's nervous around Ryousuke, but with something new and foreign as this, it feels like he's 14 again and everything about the world seems intimidating.]
Would... you read my writing?
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Oh? [Looking back on the Sugane from before, slumped over a bar and lacking in direction, and superimposing the image of him now, nervous but brave enough to ask this of Ryo - maybe he's standing a little straighter.] You really did it.
Let's see.
[He certainly won't pass up a chance to read.]
no subject
[Honestly, he had been preparing himself for a rejection. Though then again, he reminds himself, Ryousuke had been the one reminding him to write again since he had found him in the bar.
Without wasting another minute, he goes back to the kitchen to grab the spiral notebook before running -no, fast walking, back to hand it to Ryousuke.]
There aren't many yet, and the writing isn't entirely polished. But I appreciate you taking the time to read them.
no subject
[Pushing his teacup out of the way, so he can receive the notebook. First he flicks through the pages, judging the length, and then thumbs back to open up to the beginning. He hums.]
Short stories, huh.
[Did Sugane expect him to read it later in his own time? Or now? Regardless, Ryousuke has no problems with perusing his work right in front of him.]
no subject
Wait, should he just leave and let Ryousuke read in peace? Or is Sugane suppose to stand here and see how he reacts to the short tales?]
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If anyone wanted to gauge his opinion via facial expression, good luck, because Ryousuke remains fairly neutral the entire time. Maybe his brow furrows ever so slightly, his eyelashes flicker, or his smile relaxes some, but otherwise it's his usual front. Calm, and giving little away.
Lovie's still a kitten and prone to restlessness. Without Ryousuke paying much attention to her, she hops off the couch to entertain her next curiosity - approaching Sugane's feet and gazing up with a meow.]
no subject
There's only so much Sugane can read from a person, let alone someone who tends to be unreadable by default. Does Ryousuke like his stories? Interested? Think there's potential? It's really hard to tell.
Impatient and in need to take another allergy pill, he finally speaks up;]
I... guess I'm just to leave you read it by yourself and then come back another time?
no subject
Whatever Sugane said, perhaps he didn't catch it? Because Ryousuke sure doesn't answer the question, cutting straight past it to pose one of his own:]
Do you want to hear my thoughts?
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Yes, please! I'd like any sort of criticism or thought you may have!
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It's too straightforward. There's little flow. All the sentences are choppy, and when they're not, they're overly convoluted. Isn't this a little too purple?
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[Finally, he looks over the notebook, holding Sugane's gaze, smile wide.]
It sucks.
[fucking savage]
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Though really, it's not like it's much of a surprise. He's still very new at this and unlike Leader regarding his cooking, Ryousuke tells him right off bat which parts requires dire working.]
I see... but, nonetheless! I appreciate your criticism and will work hard in fixing these problems.
no subject
[He's more determined to make these as best as he can now.]
no subject
Ryousuke's passing the notebook back, and reaches for his tea. It's cold. As much as he doesn't like to leave a story unfinished, it seems incomplete as it is. There's a lot of reworking to be done.]
Here you go.
[Maybe next time.]