[ ryousuke's room is quiet and haruichi's already thankful for that--it reminds him of being home when they were younger for a moment, with the novels on the bedside table, the peaceful atmosphere surrounding it. the instant feeling is safety, in a way that it always was when they were younger. ryousuke could belittle him until he turned blue in the face and haruichi would always feel safer with him. that's why here felt the most natural place to go, and after briefly escaping from the house earlier, he's not sure why he didn't think of this sooner. it's not a foolproof plan, but it just might work.
as he finally slouches off the door and starts to get up, haruichi looks over and spots his older brother, fast asleep. something in his chest twists with it (high school baseball must be hard, mother had said, and haruichi had looked onto his brother asleep on the couch with a kind of wonder when he'd come home from seido the first break) and haruichi can't help the little, fond smile on his face as he tiptoes across the room to grab snowball before he can cause too much trouble. the fox wriggles but otherwise leaves him alone, curling up under his arm, and haruichi gingerly steps over to his big brother fast asleep.
the least he can do is take the book away, and he carefully reaches to lift it off without disturbing the sleeping dragon, maybe wanting to pull the blankets up a little more and leave--he can't disturb his big brother when he looks that peaceful, there's no way, but snowball decides that's not happening and he wriggles out of his arms, delicately hopping over the lump in the bed and going to settle on the other pillow. ]
[Ryousuke's fingers twitch in his sleep, suddenly missing the book in his hands. Haruichi is careful though, and the stillness returns once more.
In that strange state of half asleep consciousness, the back of Ryousuke's mind registers another presence making themselves comfortable on the other side of the bed. It's far too delicate to be Sugane, light pit-pattering over the sheets, but it's enough to interrupt his bubble of peaceful slumber, and Ryousuke stirs...
... To wake face to face with a fox. It appears satisfied with its spot on the bed, gazing right back at him. He doesn't startle or make any move to shove the animal away -- just meet it with the same look. Creatures of the same kind. It had so stubbornly been following his brother around all day, even more closely than Ryousuke himself (he has a strong suspicion their motives are the same), which meant-]
[He rolls his head to face the other side of the pillow, to peer up at his little brother, looking more alarmed than he really should be.]
Ah-- [ haruichi doesn't have enough time to make a swipe for snowball; he's silent and graceful, much more so than haruichi himself, and if haruichi reaches across ryousuke's body to try and fetch snowball before he causes any trouble, he'll surely wake him.
and, sure enough, ryousuke stirs. haruichi flinches, not out of fright or anything but out of having his semi-gathered plan mostly foiled, and he flushes red, embarrassed at have being caught.
the mistletoe's still bobbing over his head, too, moving with him as he pulls back from where he'd been close to his brother, fingers curled in the covers to pull them up around his shoulders. ]
S-sorry. [ he whispers, even though ryousuke's already awake. ] You can go back to sleep, I'm sorry...
[ snowball yawns. yes, this spot is his now, screw sugane. ]
[Too late, the damage is done. Ryousuke's already sitting up and pushing aside the covers that Haruichi had tried so hard to pull over him, scooting over to the edge of the bed. The last dregs of sleep are completely gone now, conscious and alert because, well, it's Haruichi.]
And how do you expect me to sleep now? [Demanding words. Words intended to make his brother squirm, but the hand reaching up to push the hair out of Haruichi's eyes is nothing but gentle. There's an odd discord between what he says, and the soft regard with how he treats him now, and he does it unthinkingly, unable to stop himself. The edges of Ryousuke's inscrutable smile begin to weaken.]
[ haruichi does in fact squirm a little at the harshness of his big brother's tone--he did kind of wake him, this was absolutely his fault and he deserved it. he ducks his head down between his shoulders to apologize again, but as ryousuke sits up and reaches for his hair, he stops.
it's all he can do to stop, surprised at the sudden affection. he's completely forgotten about the mistletoe in the face of such a gentle touch, stunned that it could even be coming from his brother that it doesn't even occur to him that it's compelled.
his gaze flicks up from underneath his eyelashes, big pink eyes now visible again as he looks sheepish, eyebrows knitted together, and mumbles another soft ] I'm sorry, aniki. [ if only because it feels like he has to say something to make himself assured that this is actually real and happening at this very moment. ]
[Arguably, out of anyone, Ryousuke is subject to those eyes the most. He's spent sixteen years having those eyes at his back. Turns out sixteen years doesn't make one any less immune. Haruichi turns that gaze on him, clear and unobscured, and he's filled with a sudden rush of affection, accompanied by an overwhelming need to act on it. Haruichi doesn't even have to do anything, and he's dealt him a heavy blow. Knocked the breath right out of him.
It's the mistletoe. It's definitely the mistletoe. In any other situation, he'd gladly take any magic-induced affection if necessary, but nothing is more difficult than breaching it with his own brother. It goes against the careful walls Ryousuke's built between them over the years, creating distance. It's that distance that Haruichi would have to strive to cross, to move him forward. Ryousuke never promised he would be the sort of brother to coddle.
All the willpower Ryousuke Kominato can summon (which let's face it, is a lot), and Haruichi still wins out.
Finally, he's pushing himself off the edge of the bed completely to stand. One hand reaches the back of Haruichi's head and threads through his hair, gently nudging him forward. His little brother isn't really all that little in comparison, because Haruichi's got at least a couple of centimetres on him now, growing up far too quickly, and Ryousuke has to balance on his toes a bit, bringing him close to tenderly brush a kiss in the middle of his brother's forehead.]
[ there's no better word for what haruichi feels than stunned.
ryousuke has never been an affectionate older brother. haruichi can count the times he's gotten a form of personal contact from him in all fifteen years of his life (that he can remember, anyway) on one hand. hugs, kisses, sweet gestures, kindnesses--these are not the ryousuke way, and haruichi is fine with his life that way. when he was a child he used to wish it, a little, but haruichi never resented his brother for it, either. rather, it just made ryousuke feel more unattainable, made him want to chase him more and more, following in the giant shadow of his achievements and accomplishments, of his hard work. he's always given him a goal to strive for: coddling need not apply.
and yet.
he's a little surprised when his head's bowed forward, but haruichi's eyes go huge and wide as he stares down at the floor between them, realizing exactly what just happened. he's not even sure how to process ryousuke's gesture, because even the littlest things (an offer to practice together) could make his day. this is almost overload. haruichi's never doubted that his brother loved him--even if sometimes it felt like he needed to--because it was a basal fact, even if he didn't show it. but having it here, the physical proof in something as sweet and simple as a forehead kiss, has left haruichi utterly at a loss.
he's completely forgotten about the mistletoe, about anything but this little moment, and haruichi doesn't dare lift his head, doesn't dare move or speak for fear he might ruin it for a solid moment. it takes a breath in, a breath out, before he murmurs ] Aniki... [ though tonally it sounds more like wonder than it does worry.
if this is a moment he has to snap out of, he's not sure if he wants to. ]
[Ryousuke inhales sharp, the gravity of what just occurred between them harshly pulling him back in.
Instinct says to put some distance between them, but the back of his legs already press into the edge of the bed, and for once in his life he can't bring himself to let loose a snarky comment, can't just play it off as a joke or deflect. Haruichi, wide-eyed and confused, leaves him strangely- defenceless.
He's searching his brother's face, for reassurance, any indication that he truly hasn't fucked this up irreparably.
He's probably fucked it up.
He's spent so long telling himself this couldn't happen. Taught himself to keep his distance. Ryousuke was never supposed to be the loving older brother. Not the kind who could tell Haruichi everything was fine when it wasn't, the kind to say that his best was enough, that Ryousuke would be proud of him no matter what. Call it messed up, but he couldn't let Haruichi know he's already there, and has been there since the very beginning.
Haruichi can't stop now.]
Haruichi, I-
[Is this where a normal older brother would say "I love you"?]
[His hands drop to his sides.] I'm going back to bed.
[ he hears the gasp before he sees any recognition on his brother's face, and haruichi lifts his head to look at him, his bangs still knocked aside enough to show one wide, shocked eye. his cheeks have taken on a little bit of their familiar flush, not out of embarrassment but simply out of surprise, and a feeling of warmth akin to ducking into a bathtub after a long day at practice. if ryousuke's looking for reassurance, for words, he won't find them here, in the face of his younger brother--here, he'll just find wonder, shock, his breath still held.
it is a universally acknowledged fact that haruichi kominato loves his older brother. he loves ryousuke more than he loves baseball. for all of his life, his back has been in front of him, safety even with a distant hand. being teased, being regarded coldly, being pushed away, none of this has ever once deterred how much he admires, respects and adores his older brother. he is obvious where ryousuke is aloof, but even then these sorts of gestures feel out of his reach, like an uncrossable bridge. if haruichi has always loved him, then ryousuke has always been far away from him, and in this very moment, suddenly he was right there.
he's not sure what he's expecting him to say--haruichi's not sure if there are words either of them can say to change this, the fragile little moment that's just occurred between them, the sudden reality of what had always been an assumed fact. he can't even imagine ryousuke saying i love you.
and yet, when he drops his hands, the moment's gone, and haruichi can't help but feel a little hollow for it as things return to normal. he takes a step back, finally, belatedly, and nods his head, putting his bangs back into place with the motion. he doesn't trust his traitorous voice to speak, to say something and ruin it all.
swallowing a lump in his throat he didn't know was there (or why; is it sadness, happiness? maybe a mix of both, something bittersweet), haruichi's hands clasp in front of him and he steps back a little further, leaving the moment (and snowball, for that matter) behind, until he finally murmurs-- ] Sleep well, aniki. [ soft, barely a whisper, and then turns to leave the room.
aniki's going to be harsh for a few days, he thinks, shutting the door softly behind him, but it doesn't deter the little smile on his face as he returns to his room. ]
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♥
as he finally slouches off the door and starts to get up, haruichi looks over and spots his older brother, fast asleep. something in his chest twists with it (high school baseball must be hard, mother had said, and haruichi had looked onto his brother asleep on the couch with a kind of wonder when he'd come home from seido the first break) and haruichi can't help the little, fond smile on his face as he tiptoes across the room to grab snowball before he can cause too much trouble. the fox wriggles but otherwise leaves him alone, curling up under his arm, and haruichi gingerly steps over to his big brother fast asleep.
the least he can do is take the book away, and he carefully reaches to lift it off without disturbing the sleeping dragon, maybe wanting to pull the blankets up a little more and leave--he can't disturb his big brother when he looks that peaceful, there's no way, but snowball decides that's not happening and he wriggles out of his arms, delicately hopping over the lump in the bed and going to settle on the other pillow. ]
Re: ♥
In that strange state of half asleep consciousness, the back of Ryousuke's mind registers another presence making themselves comfortable on the other side of the bed. It's far too delicate to be Sugane, light pit-pattering over the sheets, but it's enough to interrupt his bubble of peaceful slumber, and Ryousuke stirs...
... To wake face to face with a fox. It appears satisfied with its spot on the bed, gazing right back at him. He doesn't startle or make any move to shove the animal away -- just meet it with the same look. Creatures of the same kind. It had so stubbornly been following his brother around all day, even more closely than Ryousuke himself (he has a strong suspicion their motives are the same), which meant-]
[He rolls his head to face the other side of the pillow, to peer up at his little brother, looking more alarmed than he really should be.]
Haruichi?
[It's was the fox, wasn't it.]
no subject
and, sure enough, ryousuke stirs. haruichi flinches, not out of fright or anything but out of having his semi-gathered plan mostly foiled, and he flushes red, embarrassed at have being caught.
the mistletoe's still bobbing over his head, too, moving with him as he pulls back from where he'd been close to his brother, fingers curled in the covers to pull them up around his shoulders. ]
S-sorry. [ he whispers, even though ryousuke's already awake. ] You can go back to sleep, I'm sorry...
[ snowball yawns. yes, this spot is his now, screw sugane. ]
no subject
And how do you expect me to sleep now? [Demanding words. Words intended to make his brother squirm, but the hand reaching up to push the hair out of Haruichi's eyes is nothing but gentle. There's an odd discord between what he says, and the soft regard with how he treats him now, and he does it unthinkingly, unable to stop himself. The edges of Ryousuke's inscrutable smile begin to weaken.]
no subject
it's all he can do to stop, surprised at the sudden affection. he's completely forgotten about the mistletoe in the face of such a gentle touch, stunned that it could even be coming from his brother that it doesn't even occur to him that it's compelled.
his gaze flicks up from underneath his eyelashes, big pink eyes now visible again as he looks sheepish, eyebrows knitted together, and mumbles another soft ] I'm sorry, aniki. [ if only because it feels like he has to say something to make himself assured that this is actually real and happening at this very moment. ]
no subject
It's the mistletoe. It's definitely the mistletoe. In any other situation, he'd gladly take any magic-induced affection if necessary, but nothing is more difficult than breaching it with his own brother. It goes against the careful walls Ryousuke's built between them over the years, creating distance. It's that distance that Haruichi would have to strive to cross, to move him forward. Ryousuke never promised he would be the sort of brother to coddle.
All the willpower Ryousuke Kominato can summon (which let's face it, is a lot), and Haruichi still wins out.
Finally, he's pushing himself off the edge of the bed completely to stand. One hand reaches the back of Haruichi's head and threads through his hair, gently nudging him forward. His little brother isn't really all that little in comparison, because Haruichi's got at least a couple of centimetres on him now, growing up far too quickly, and Ryousuke has to balance on his toes a bit, bringing him close to tenderly brush a kiss in the middle of his brother's forehead.]
no subject
ryousuke has never been an affectionate older brother. haruichi can count the times he's gotten a form of personal contact from him in all fifteen years of his life (that he can remember, anyway) on one hand. hugs, kisses, sweet gestures, kindnesses--these are not the ryousuke way, and haruichi is fine with his life that way. when he was a child he used to wish it, a little, but haruichi never resented his brother for it, either. rather, it just made ryousuke feel more unattainable, made him want to chase him more and more, following in the giant shadow of his achievements and accomplishments, of his hard work. he's always given him a goal to strive for: coddling need not apply.
and yet.
he's a little surprised when his head's bowed forward, but haruichi's eyes go huge and wide as he stares down at the floor between them, realizing exactly what just happened. he's not even sure how to process ryousuke's gesture, because even the littlest things (an offer to practice together) could make his day. this is almost overload. haruichi's never doubted that his brother loved him--even if sometimes it felt like he needed to--because it was a basal fact, even if he didn't show it. but having it here, the physical proof in something as sweet and simple as a forehead kiss, has left haruichi utterly at a loss.
he's completely forgotten about the mistletoe, about anything but this little moment, and haruichi doesn't dare lift his head, doesn't dare move or speak for fear he might ruin it for a solid moment. it takes a breath in, a breath out, before he murmurs ] Aniki... [ though tonally it sounds more like wonder than it does worry.
if this is a moment he has to snap out of, he's not sure if he wants to. ]
no subject
Instinct says to put some distance between them, but the back of his legs already press into the edge of the bed, and for once in his life he can't bring himself to let loose a snarky comment, can't just play it off as a joke or deflect. Haruichi, wide-eyed and confused, leaves him strangely- defenceless.
He's searching his brother's face, for reassurance, any indication that he truly hasn't fucked this up irreparably.
He's probably fucked it up.
He's spent so long telling himself this couldn't happen. Taught himself to keep his distance. Ryousuke was never supposed to be the loving older brother. Not the kind who could tell Haruichi everything was fine when it wasn't, the kind to say that his best was enough, that Ryousuke would be proud of him no matter what. Call it messed up, but he couldn't let Haruichi know he's already there, and has been there since the very beginning.
Haruichi can't stop now.]
Haruichi, I-
[Is this where a normal older brother would say "I love you"?]
[His hands drop to his sides.] I'm going back to bed.
no subject
it is a universally acknowledged fact that haruichi kominato loves his older brother. he loves ryousuke more than he loves baseball. for all of his life, his back has been in front of him, safety even with a distant hand. being teased, being regarded coldly, being pushed away, none of this has ever once deterred how much he admires, respects and adores his older brother. he is obvious where ryousuke is aloof, but even then these sorts of gestures feel out of his reach, like an uncrossable bridge. if haruichi has always loved him, then ryousuke has always been far away from him, and in this very moment, suddenly he was right there.
he's not sure what he's expecting him to say--haruichi's not sure if there are words either of them can say to change this, the fragile little moment that's just occurred between them, the sudden reality of what had always been an assumed fact. he can't even imagine ryousuke saying i love you.
and yet, when he drops his hands, the moment's gone, and haruichi can't help but feel a little hollow for it as things return to normal. he takes a step back, finally, belatedly, and nods his head, putting his bangs back into place with the motion. he doesn't trust his traitorous voice to speak, to say something and ruin it all.
swallowing a lump in his throat he didn't know was there (or why; is it sadness, happiness? maybe a mix of both, something bittersweet), haruichi's hands clasp in front of him and he steps back a little further, leaving the moment (and snowball, for that matter) behind, until he finally murmurs-- ] Sleep well, aniki. [ soft, barely a whisper, and then turns to leave the room.
aniki's going to be harsh for a few days, he thinks, shutting the door softly behind him, but it doesn't deter the little smile on his face as he returns to his room. ]